Democratic Party Exclusion.

In August I was elected precinct delegate for the Democratic Party. However, I never have been included in ANY Party function before or after the general election. Though I remain a precinct delegate, I am never told about meetings. It is true that I had a breakdown in July but I have been addressing the issues that caused it and resulted from it. I am, however, classified as "disabled".  

That classification raises an interesting question: By excluding me from Party functions am I being discriminated against because of my disability?  I think the answer is quite clearly, "Yes."  If it weren't for the breakdown I would still be included. There is no other reason for the exclusion.

The MI 9th Congressional District is where the problems lie. Because the staff of the congressman are uncomfortable around me as a disabled person (I was even told as much in August by a staff member), I am excluded from district Party functions and am not told about county functions either. (That total exclusion seemingly broke down recently when I received invitations to events within the county).  Obviously the will of the congressman is paramount. The fact that discrimination against the disabled is against Democratic Party policy does not, apparently, matter. Protests regarding my present lack of status go unheard, even at the upper echelons of the Democratic Party. 

My breakdown occurred because of the stress of being unemployed for over three years and being unable to find another job.  Ironically , during the first two years of my unemployment this very same congressman had me tell my story, both of unemployment and also of my lack of health insurance. He took my story as well as many others back to Washington D.C. in order to press for the extension of unemployment benefits and the Affordable Care Act. I was more than happy to help because of my respect for him and the exceptional way he has represented the district over the years. Now, I feel betrayed. I was used when convenient and dumped like garbage on the side of the road when I was vulnerable and sick. This in spite of all the years of volunteering for his campaigns,  as far back as his second run for governor in 1973-74. Apparently dedication and loyalty mean nothing but I really shouldn't be surprised - it IS politics after all. 

Yes, there is another side to this story. Part of the reason for the breakdown was the added stress of the campaign. And when I became ill during a 4th of July parade I was walking on his behalf, he made sure I was looked after.  But it was the staff's behavior towards me after that which caused me to fall apart. I was dedicated and loyal but what THEY saw was something else.  By then I was under great stress. I was trying to use the volunteer work on the campaign as a way to busy myself during my unemployment. I guess I needed it a little too much.  Nevertheless, I sought help when it became obvious that I was having problems.

I have spent months working through those events and my responses to them but in the end, the same issue remains: I was vulnerable and disabled and was turned away by the Party of Inclusiveness.  Discrimination.  

 "The Michigan Democratic Party... [is] seeking the Common Good –– the best life for each person of this state. We include everyone: the unemployed, the employed, the veteran, the student, the disabled, the sick, the healthy, the senior, the child, the wealthy, the poor, the citizen, the stranger, the first and the last. Seeking the Common Good is not difficult for Michigan’s citizens to understand.... The Common Good requires that we have common responsibility for the community and the people."

- MI Democratic Party Platform, 2012
Preamble


2/21/13  On Tuesday evening I experienced more of the 9th Districts version of "inclusiveness." While people who didn't know me readily talked to me, the staff and most members of the district barely spoke and moved away quickly. There is a stigma to mental illness and many people are afraid but the reality is that most people with mental illness are not a threat to anyone else. I happen to be diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder and I recognize it can be difficult to communicate with me sometimes. Mostly that happened when I was I was still undiagnosed and not getting the help I needed. 

One person Tuesday night, who shall remain nameless, responded to my greeting and apology for the past months (I had definitely been a challenge) by asking if I had gotten help saying "Good" when I said "Yes" and he rolled his eyes and sped away. That pretty much describes how I was treated by the congressman's staff. Even the congressman himself rushed past me with a brief and curt handshake and greeting. Better than nothing and perhaps better than I deserved, but taken along with the glares I received from one party official, was still disconcerting and hurtful, especially  when THIS was apparently emailed to the rest of the 9th district: 

"We believe that the combination of challenges and opportunities that dramatically confront Michigan Democrats today have called on us as elected Democrats to urge a new and inclusive chapter in MDP leadership." - Sandy Levin (email)

I have not received that or any other email from the district since last August. Any email I sent on various issues have apparently been ignored or deleted. 

All in all, I am shunned, ignored, shut out, blocked and treated as less than almost any other constituent. I don't even have the ability to share my views as any other constituent can. In that respect I have taxation without representation. In the 9th congressional district inclusiveness does NOT apply to people, even precinct delegates, with mental disorders.

Faith and Depression

It has always seemed like such a contradiction: how could someone who firmly believes in Jesus as the Christ also be depressed and suicidal? They do not go together in the normal schema of faith.If you believe in the saving grace of Jesus then there ought to be no room for despair, hopelessness, depression and suicidal thoughts, right? Nope. It turns out that the same person who believes the former also suffers with the rest. It may seem like a contradiction but the reality is that they co-exist.

The problem lies with the failure to understand depression as the organic illness it really is. Many Christians see depression as a spiritual failure, somehow the fault  of the depressed person for not having enough faith. The truth is, depression is an organic, definable illness in the same way heart disease is. Not many of us would classify heart attacks as a failure of faith. Neither should we define depression that way. Depression is caused by real imbalances in brain chemicals and complicated by life events.One may or may not question the role of faith in the life events but to call an imbalance of seratonin, dopamine and other chemicals in the brain a lack of faith is a serious failure to even try to understand the true nature of depression.

The Church, as a whole, needs to do a better job educating parishioners about mental illness in general and depression in particular. Though MILLIONS of us suffer from depression every year in this country only 3 in 100 sufferers seek help. That has to change. There should be no more shame in seeking help for depression than in going to the doctor for cancer. Indeed there should be no shame in being depressed at all. It is not  a matter of fault or blame. It JUST IS.

I have a Masters Degree in Theology and my home church was quite proud when I was ordained Deacon in the United Methodist Church. They were less thrilled when I left the ministry but they were still my home church. They managed to get their investment back by using my gifts and graces as much as they possibly could. At some points, I felt like an unpaid pastor. But then I suffered a breakdown and was hospitalized several times. I will NEVER forget that first Sunday back to church. Not ONE person either looked at me or talked to me! I never went back. These were the people who raised me in the faith. And yet, they could not deal with someone who had been suicidal and depressed. It was extremely painful but I understood the stigma that still attaches to mental illness and depression.

My message to the Church is this: What would Jesus do? First of all, he would heal me. But he would NEVER judge me or anyone else suffering from depression. Blame the disease not the patient. Jesus loves us all unconditionally. We ALL have our weaknesses and we are ALL sinners. But mental illness, in and of itself, is not a sin. It is a disease. It is no more sinful than having cancer. If and when the Church and broader society GETS that fact, the stigma may begin to disappear and the mentally ill may be included in society in a fuller and broader way. I hope and pray not too many more of us are ostracized before that happens.